A Trip To the Charlottesville Shopping Mall...

Dear all,

Today was truly a sad day in history.
I went to the local shopping mall known as "Fashion Square," a small mall with only one level and an assortment of shitty shops that I would never ACTUALLY buy anything real from and take it SRSly.
Anyway, I went with Chris to pay for his jeans (in exchange for a fridge,) and to buy myself some BOOTY SHORTS.
THEN...WET SEAL WAS CLOSED. WHAT? Where is a decent girl supposed to find herself some booty shorts? They actually had NO OTHER stores with booty shorts, I looked everywhere. So that was the first major disappointment.
THEN we were walking into FYE and I decided to give this Obama cutout a hug. I mean why not? So as I was in hug position, some redneck walked by and goes "oh man, I want to take that home for TARGET PRACTICE." Instead of cussing at him and flicking him off like he probably expected, I just laughed because that kind of ignorance and hatred is just funny/SAD. I don't really hate Mccain... nor would I say rude shit to people hugging Mccain cutouts.
SO that's when I had had enough. Chris and I were like...let's get the fuck out of here. And I was like "wait, lemme get a picture with Mr. future Prez." Then another rude person walked by and said, rather loudly, "I wouldn't want a picture with THAT BASTARD."
REALLY? REALLY THOUGH CHARLOTTESVILLE? CALM DOWN. When I'm being CALM about something, it means you REALLY need to calm down. Cause I'm always angry and looking for a fight, but this was just STUPID.
So then, being all grumps, I decided to ride on the mall's mini-merry-go-round thinking it would make me feel better, but no.
THEN I went to the UVA bookstore and paid $380 dollars for some engineering textbooks. WONDERFUL. PLEASE, TAKE ALL MY MONEY, I CAN TOTALLY AFFORD IT!!! One book is like... a full tank of gas in my ~~SUV~~

THIS IS GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR!

me and mr. future prez
me on a carousel
(my nickname from when I was a kid! Which is kinda funny if you think about it...)

sUV-A...

TODAY is one of the douchiest days of the year at the University of Virginia. It is the first football game of the semester where all the first years get to dress up in a stupid dress or wear orange head to toe, get drunk and sunburnt, and pretend they know anything about American football. Alumni return to fill the streets with their stupid SUVs and the parking lots with beer and hot dogs.

TODAY is particularly more ridiculous, because the University of Virginia is playing USC... the best team in the country. So I'm not quite sure that I would feel comfortable painting my face orange and rooting for a team I know is going to lose... But that's just me. My brother told me if i didn't go to the game, he'd kill me. And here I am at home in Arlington, looking forward to a shower and maybe eating some Thai food...

Anyways, this will be my rant against the STUPID SUVs that happen to be taking over Charlottesville, Virginia, one douche at a time.

LOOK PEOPLE, YOU DON'T NEED SUVs.

THE LAST THING THE WORLD NEEDS ARE MORE STUPID GIRLS IN BIG CARS THAT DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE/PARK THEIR MOSTROSITIES OF VEHICLES.

Tegan lives in a house that has 8 girls upstairs, and 3 girls downstairs. EVERY SINGLE ONE of the so-whority girls upstairs has AN SUV. and they "kindly" asked tegan to park her car "as far to the right as possible" so they could fit their earth destroyers in the tiny parking lot.

SRSly parents, stop buying your daughters SUVs cause one day they're gonna be texting their ~big sibs~ or their ~bfs~ and they're gonna see a fallen tree branch and hafto swerve and they're gonna flip their $55,000 car over because of it's high center of gravity and then the car will burn and scar their beautiful faces or something.

anyways, UVA is losing 21 to 7. GOOD LUCK WAHOOS! here's a pic from SPORTS ILLUSTRATED of what UVa looks like/is. + SUVs ofcourse...

DEAR SKY,

WHY ARE YOU STILL RAINING?
it makes my life miserable

I HATE WEARING SOCKS
I HATE BEING WET
I don't have an umbrella
I didn't bring any douchey scarves
I HATE driving in the rain
I HATE is when my hair looks wet and either IS wet or is just really greasy AND a little wet, so it looks even grosser...

ALSO...
DADDY YANKEE IS A DOUCHE BAG.
who cares you who endorse in the upcoming election daddy yankee, it's not like your fans are
1) ELIGIBLE to vote (not 18, illegal, and oh yes, convicts)
2) SMART. i mean puerto ricans, really shutup now
3) gonna care enough to give a shit about what you say
I mean...really... endorsing MCCAIN? who are you? what the hell?
either you're a REAL douche cause you like MCCAIN, or you're just a douche who wants some publicity cause you liked OBAMA but then he turned your ass down, so you switch to LUVIN MCCAIN.
get outta here.
this just goes to show that we really should allow puerto rico to be their OWN country so they can keep all their stupidity contained onto one island.

WITH ALL THIS BEING SAID, I love puerto rico... I've been there and plan on going again. I also love(d) Puerto Rican ~~men~~ (if they can even be called that) at one point in my life.
I ALSO LOVE REGGAETON!!! SO this is just my HATE campaign against daddy yankee who makes his fans pay way too much to see him live (atleast 100$) and then endorses MCCAIN.
GRACIAS POR REPRESENTAR A TODOS LOS LATINOS DADDY, you know, all of us hispanic republicans who can afford 100 bucks to go to a concert... all... maybe 2 of us in the U.S...

~~apologies to anybody who might be offended~~

Why I'm being hesitant to BLOG...

1.) The whole world knows all my shit. But now I live with a bunch of people who I don't know (and don't trust, and who probably won't like me,) and I don't know if i want them reading my shit. So hopefully by the end of the semester, I won't care and I'll be friends with them, but it's not really lookin too good. I MISS MY GATOS FROM LAST YEAR. uuuuuughhhhh seriously I HATE IT.
2.) my camera's flash broke so all my pictures are sucking
3.) I know juicy personal life gossip would be interesting, but uhh I'm trying to stay away from that cause a.) it's not that juicy at all b.) parties involved would be pissed c.) I'm not trying to get kicked out of my room at the ~casa bolivar~ (cause of my 2 children) and because of my ~~substance abuse problems~~

okay fine. it's not juicy, but it IS interesting.
you know, the way I deal with problems (or choose not to,) the way other people deal with our problems (or choose not to,) the way something can come out of nowhere and just FUCK SHIT UP!!!

I don't want people to judge me, I don't want people to get pissed at me for things that I think/"feel" and I don't want people who barely know me to read this shit and think I'm fucking crazy!
and for all these reasons stated, I haven't really been publicizing.

ON THAT NOTE, FUCK IT! PRIVACY IS SOOOO ANTIQUATED!!! SO HERE GOES!!!!!...

A CERTAIN GATO MADE FUN OF ME FOR HOOKIN UP WITH SOME DUDE A WHILE AGO which is BULLSHIT cause said CERTAIN GATO HAS A REP FOR DOIN THE SAAAAME SHIT!!
then after that bullshit, I went to the FRESH MEAT PARTY which was fab as usual, and ran into a certain NEGRO who tends to shake shit up whenever I see him by you know, making me feel extremely horrible and shit. Then GATO was dicky all next day even tho he knew I ran into said NEGRO and needed ~~comfort~~
WOW I SOUND SO **LATINA** RIGHT NOW I THINK I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF.
so THEEEEEEEEEEEN said gato went to dinner with a gata who's "just an amiga,"(it almost seemed like he wanted to spite me, even though I know that's not true. maybe. right? yeah. he's not a dick like that) but still he should call me after am I right? To be like, dinner with said gata is over, no I am not doing her up the butt, yes I'll make it up to you by hanging out with you tomorrow and being your slave. RIGHT? is that too much to ask??? ANYWAYS
I proceeded to just get high ( YES, GET HIGH, JUDGE ME ) and eat some Christians, and Tegan was like "has he called you? has he called you?" and i'm like uhhh no... should i be pissed?
Anyways, bottom line is, whatever. now I just don't fucking care. and he's making me dinner, and i'm just a fat whore, and food is the way to my heart, so I'm like, whatever. whatever whatever whatever whatever I don't fucking care about anything.

I'm gonna go SHOWER, ORDER MY BOOKS, PLAY WITH MY CHILDREN, GO TO WORK, then go eat some fucking food. and all is back to normal. easy peasy.

I'm sure no one has gotten this far, and if you have, enjoy these pictures of OLYMPICS PARTY.

I look like I have a PEEN! AND ITS BIGGER THAN MIGUEL'S!!

more peen

HO-LYMPIANS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~gatas~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why am i bitchin'?

i'll take to this
like a true latin woman
and just go out
and drink
and dance
and attract all the wrong kinds of people!

like a ~~telenovela~~
only, mi vida

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

it's 3:06
i went out
i didn't drink (or smoke, thank you)
i ran into someone who kind of ruins my life temporarily when i see him
and then a certain someone fell asleep
so i'm here
alone
playing with my rats
who don't really understand me cause i'm a human and shit.
also, i feel like my friends suck
so i can't really talk to anybody about anything
so i hafto fucking blog about shit
in a convoluted code that no one will understand because i can't REALLY say important things on this stupid blog
and talk to bryan about it cause although he doesn't care, he pretends to which is cool.
unfortunately he's on the other side of the united states and not in the room across the hall.
no, that's some spaniard who i don't know but i share a bathroom with.
his advice...
well it's too silly to post here.
lolz, bryan.

anyways!! i forgot hangers, so i gotta go throw all my clothes on the floor, pass out, then wake up to move my fucking car before 9 a.m. cause uva fucking SUCKS at parking.
and PARKING AND TRANSPORTATION SUCKS TOO.
and UTS is starting to suck too.
and NO i'm not tucking in my fucking shirt when i DRIVE A BUS cause i'm a fucking BUS DRIVER. and i don't need to look respectable or be NICE cause i drive a bus for a bunch of spoiled, rich ASSHOLES, so if i want to wear my booty shorts and be a bitch, then i can do that goddamit.
okay
goodnight
i will go forget the past 5 hours really happened!
byezzzz!
p.s. josh carter i love you, you are the TRUE gata fina!

I NEED A BLOG UPDATE

So this past week has been pretty eventful, sort of.
My birthday happened, which was cool. My auntie and uncle and coca and pacho came over to eat dinner with me and my rents. a few other frendzz joined in on the fun and we had some asado (barbecue) and birthday cake. The amazing ~~NICOLE~~ decorated the vegan cake that i made earlier in the day. Then we watched more olympix and went over to cami's house where we met up with some other peeps. And damian was there. and he's hilarious and drank all my boone's farm cause he's classy.
SO then on thursday I visited an old pal at an assisted living facility and it truly broke my heart and I was all grumpy the rest of the day. I'll talk about that later.
Then I picked up Bernice ~la mas deseada~~ at the airport and we hung and she told me all about her new ~~amor~~ and then we played with my rats. Then I passed out. Oh and Eric came back from France.
Friday was move to c-ville day, so i parked my car RIGHT up at my door, and packed some bags. Me and bernice and my ratties then roadtripped to cville after my mom almost started crying even though it's my third year leaving home... and I'm two hours away.
So then last night I ate some bougie korean food, and learned how to use chopsticks the bougie way (of course, for i am NOT a peasant,) then i watched some olympic soccer which was BULLSHIT! I LOVE ARGENTINA, but nigeria DESERVED the gold medal!! they played Ssoooooooooooooo much better.
So this morning i woke up at 4:40 a.m.... FOUR THIRTY A.M. to hang out with some hicks from parking and transportation. They dropped me off at this bench by Hereford (a dorm) at 5:30, then I just fell asleep 'til some garbage truck came and woke me up at 7. I was there til 12:30 telling new UVA students where to park their fucking cars. It was so pointless. Here are some pics. ENJOY!

My vegan cake in the making. (I wish I was on Ace of Cakes)

My amazing work...

Nicole's amazing work... she put a little rattie on there for me!!!

My vegan birthday cake with dinosaurs, hearts, and poopy colored frosting.

My mommy! and my (stick shift) civic! and my SWEET luggage!

ALL I WANT FOR MY B'DAY IS...

is a commie-flavored UTOPIAN PARAGUAY!!!
teehee!! just kidding...
just for crime to go down, employment to go up, and for me to be able to visit my family and not be in constant fear!!!

also, the past two days have been interesting, but i'll talk about it later since my popularity is on the DECLINE anywayzz~~

OLYMPICS PARTY, HUNAN HAND, AND OLYMPIC TRAMPOLINE

Olympics party was a huge success. except someone spilled wine on my couch and my mom was fricken pissed (hello, miguel.)
Miguel also showed up at POLLO RICO in BOOTY SHORTS and a sleeveless shirt as an OLYMPIC RUNNER. it was probably the funniest moment of the week. i'll post pictures when i get them from erick.
Also, cabelle, one of my (many) lesbian lovers came to visit me for my ~~b'day.~~ it was pretty amazing. It was a spanish house/my high school friends reunion, and while some had more fun than others, it was overall pretty good. Esp. with the BOUGIE FOOD that a certain BOUGE bought for the party.
Miguel also got so drunk, vommited all over my bathroom, then passed out in his car with the doors open and the 4 ways on. It was pretty lol.
So the following morning we went to eat at RAVI KABOB after encountering some huuuge stoners who "convinced" me that we should eat there. The employees then decided to give me a bunch of hot peppers to see if i could take the heat. I put the seeds in my food and went about my fattie business. They were so nice, they even gave me a free drink and a half. They were SO CUTE. EVERYBODY GO TO RAVI KABOB AND BE NICE! they're the cutest pakis ever.
so all was wonderful until all of a sudden, HOURS later, my HANDS STARTED BURNING LIKE SHIT. they were on fire!! i swear! so i googled it, and i had a bad case of HUNAN HANDS! I tried lime, i tried bleach, i tried oil and alcohol, i tried soap n water. NOTHING WORKED!! So i just sat with my hands in ice water for like an hour and it finally went away. I swear it was a fuckin' nightmare.
So then today i woke up feeling better, went to visit the eyedoctor, said bye to jeremy, the dog that i've been dog-sitting, went to work and saw somebody i hate so much i almost burst into tears/flames, came home, fed my ratties whose names will soon be finalized, and then watched OLYMPIC TRAMPOLINE! the greatest/most worthless fucking olympic sport of all time.
THANK GOD (mao) THAT CHINA WON. haha jk i hate mao. what a dick. lenin/trotsky is more my flavor of communism. but really though... OLYMPIC TRAMPOLINE? GOD. okay i'll leave you now to watch some soccer and pick my nose.

all i want for my birthday...

is to be in Argentina.

but i guess an olympics themed party will have to do (for now.)
just kidding, i'm actually really excited about it. teehee

~lol, me looking amused, slightly happy? IMPOSSIBLE

La Boca, Buenos Aires
Argentina

AM I A RACIST??

Chris Page says I am. And I disagree. I’m just “open” with race and racial stereotypes and taboos. I don’t believe in any of that shit. I’m completely comfortable being like “Ofcourse Whitney can’t swim, she’s black.” Or like “I was scared when I saw an Asian driving my bus.” I also don’t care if people are like “you’re a vegan, crazy white bitch,” or if they’re like “you dirty spic.” It’s like… okay whatever.
I just did a cheer for a Chinese girl in the Olympics in my “fake Chinese.” Chris immediately said… that’s racist, and I’m like… actually I’m cheering for her cause I want her to win. That’s how I celebrate China, and diversity goddamit.
WNL was a school that was very open with race. I don’t know why I feel so comfortable with it. IB (international baccalaureate, a school program) was so diverse that everybody became so comfortable with just talking about race and socioeconomic status. And now I go to UVA where I’m the poorest and stereotypically “latino” compared to the other “latinos” who’s parents were all US college educated n shit.
Anways, bottom line is, I’m not racist. I love everybody and hate everybody equally. I particularly love the little Chinese gymnasts. And I’m gonna have an OLYMPICS themed birthday party. ~~celebrate diversity~~
Also, nobody would call me racist if I said things more eloquently and if I had a fucking masters in anthropology. FOR EXAMPLE, in the post the other day I read the article “A Win for U.S. Swimmers and Black Children, too.” It was about how black people can’t swim and how blah blah Cullen will make a difference in the long run to improve those numbers and how had they not gotten gold everyone would have blamed him cause 1) he was the slowest 2) he was black (affirmative action in relay, give the spot to him cause he’s black blah blah)
So basically, if I say this, I’m racist. If Courtland Milloy says it, it’s okay.
I talk about race because I care and because I know people are still racist. And I AM NOT one of those people. So anyways, everybody, moral of the story, racism is stupid, everybody is the same (except white people, they think they’re better *teehee* just because they’ve been oppressors for so long)
SHIT SORRY I mean really, I love everybody. So now I will go watch Olympics. And cheer for china. Like a good commie. (kidding)




oooooo chingweiiiluuuuheeee

TITE music video, daily update

I've been rather busy these lasy two days. You know, peeling myself off the couch to go to help my moms out, cleaning my rat cage, cruisin' in my HOT WHEELZ, etc.
Yesterday, UVA celebrity Ron Barba came to Arlington for a lunch date. He chose P.F. Chang's for lunch and i was like... okay. It was good, but i took some home and the sauce had congealed two hours later. then i realized that i only truly love thai food and all other popular americanized asian cuisines are crap. I SAID SPICY GODDAMIT. SPICY MEANS BURN MY GODDAMN MOUTH OFF. MAKE MY SCALP ITCH. MAKE ME SWEAT. MAYBE ME REGRET EATING IT THE NEXT DAY WHEN I'M ON THE TOILET. alright?
anywho, then i cruised in the chent-mobile, came home, and i actually don't remember what happened next. (sad? maybe)
Today i went to work with my mother (don't ask) then drove A hole brother to the airport, and i've been watching MUN2 and MTV3 since then. I discovered my new favorite video of the moment...
Although LLOYD is NOT HISPANIC or LATINO in ANY WAY, for some reason MTV3 was playing his fucking video. But you know, i'm happy because this vid is the COOLEST objectification of women i've seen all fucking day.

and OH MY GOD SHWAYZE or whatever is on MTV3 right now. remember the guy who did mishca barton who had the huuge balls? (DONT CLICK THERE. NSFW) yeah he's in this stupid SHWAYZE BAND. and now TI and mariah on mtv 3.
mtv3, i think you might be targeting the WRONG DEMO-FUCKING-GRAPHIC.
anyways, enjoy this sweet LLOYD VID. he also looks SUPER gay in the video. i kind of like that...
and...YAY MUN2!! FINALLY SOME JUANES!!! woooooh papitooo



this video is like an american apparel ad. FUCK AMERICAN APPAREL! (calm down stupid hipsters, calm down. i still sort of like it.)


OH MY GOD i had to come back and tell you that now MUN2 is playing CUNTY MILEY CYRUS. team selena!

MY HOT WHEELZZ

the sexy piece i've been driving around town.

i like the ROSS in the background. it adds class to the picture.
but i secretly love ross.
i went and bought 2 pairs of peep toe flats, 2 leggins, and a shirt. ~~guilty~~
i especially love it cause it reminds me of my spic childhood. kind of like this car that we used to drive to beach and tow our CAMPER.

okay back to SVU.

MY LONG POST ABOUT MY WEEKEND

I’ve been sitting here trying to upload pictures for like 30 minutes, but my computer is such a piece of crap it’s taking me a while.

So I know this weekend seems really boring cause I’ve just been bitching about my neighbors (who are CURRENTLY having another rowdy get together on fucking MONDAY NIGHT,) but it wasn’t. I’ll just give a recap of my activities this weekend.

FRIDAY NOCHE: Made snakies and went to gypsy kings. Gypsy Kings at Wolf Trap is probably one of the yuppiest things I take part in. I only do this because… it’s actually really fun. You get to eat, hang out, listen to music, watch older people drink their Charles Shaw wine and get all silly n start rubbing up against each other. Me and jacy observed this 45-55 year old couple get tipsy and start like…grinding. Then the guy was sitting and the lady was GIRATING behind him… like against his bald head. Basically, it was hilarious.
I was there with Miguel who brought a huge wine bottle that was empty in about 20 minutes, chris blank and his fam who brought a bunch of food, my brother and his friend john who brought…nothing really, and jac who paid for my ticket (wooohh!!! IOU biTCH! We’ll see when I pay you back)
So anyways, the gypsy kings were amazing as usual, and we all had a good ol’ Gata time.

Then I went to cami’s and passed out there with Miguel cause mom won’t let gays/boys sleep over. HAHA jk. Just boys.

~~whole foods~~

me n chris

Jacy on her BB... AS USUAL

the GYPSY KINGS

SATURDAY: let me check my google calendar… oh so I went shopping in Gtown with Tegan and Cami. Since I can’t actually afford anything and cami owed me 15 bucks, I decided to have her pay me in the form of a new scarf and some new Chola earrings to replace my Amy winehouse earrings that I lost at cami’s house. I was like “cami, should I put these on right now?” and she replied “yes Stephanie, you really need something to spice up your boring outfit.” But I think she was being sarcastic cause… I was (still) wearing my high waisted black pencil skirt, (the same) zebra top (from the night before,) red flats, a red belt, and a black granny sweater. And my douche glasses from urban outfitters.

Then I got home and went to work. It was boring I think. Then we all met up again and hung out at cami’s house til the wee hours of the night. Also, we lost cami’s cat at some point.

cami modeling my new chola earrings

SUNDAY: woke up late, wasn’t looking forward to work. Went to another bolivian festival with momz cause they’re so awesome. Went to work. Went to cami’s… then went to watch pineapple express. I thought it was funny as hell, but I expected it to be funnier. Oh yeah and james franco is the hottest person ever. Especially as a stoner/pot dealer. Like… greasy, tall, sweet, naïve, loyal (okay you’ll get it when you see the movie.)

cute little girls

the most beautiful flag in the world.

another cute little boy with some older gatos

a FIERCE gata

This is my favorite part... now they're standing...

NOW THEY'RE JUMPING!! YAYY!

So then today I woke up too damn early for a doctor's appointment. Then I cruised around town in my dad’s 80s chevy truck and I was embarrassed and shit but it was funny. Then I came home, passed out, woke up, and went to work. And HERE I AM. Typing this shit right now. So enjoy. And I’ll TALK TO YA’LL HOEZ WHO READ THIS SHIT 2morro!! I’m gonna go watch Chinese guys in spandex jump around now. Cause I have nothing better to do and my dad just doesn’t get law and order. I wonder if the Chinese governments just…created these people. Specifically for the Olympics. I’ll talk about that laterz.

DOUCHE BAGS

Dearest new neighbors at 82whatever abingdon st,
YOUR HOUSE IS NOT A FUCKING FRAT HOUSE. you have only been living here for about 2 weeks and have had a party every friday and saturday, leaving beer bottles basically in the fucking street, and during the day you unemployed JMU alumni sluts sit outside in the front yard sunbathing for your 80+ year old neighbors to see. i guess you wouldn't know your neighbors cause though you won't take the time to get to know them because you're rude cunts.
When i come home from work after a boring shift on a saturday, the last thing i want to come home to is a street parked full of SUVs making it impossible to get a decent parking spot infront of my own home. Also, i do not want to hear obnoxious drunk girls screaming and giggling when i sit on my fucking porch. You probably have shitty music playing too, kenny chesney, or dave matthews. ~~omg~~ well PRAIIISE the fucking LORD i can't hear that!
so new neigbors, as much as you want Mr. Settler (R.I.P) and Ms. Joanna's cute old house to become the Arlington Mecca for post-undergrad TRASH, please learn some fucking CLASS. and that means a lot coming from ME. okay? jesus christ. i might print this and leave it in your mailbox. or print like 100 and then thrown them all over your front yard. as a reminder to clean up SHITTY beer bottles strewn all over your front yard. you know, the side that FACES THE STREET. AND YOUR NEIGHBORS SEE. jesus.
sincerely,
from your (younger, hotter, and more intelligent) neighbor
- Stephanie Diana Paredes Mora

god. white people have no shame

RATTIES FIRST CIG

wtaacq1fA

says my rat...

well cami the ho bag is back in town, and sure enough she's being a bad influence on my RATS. cami came over, opened the rat cage, and immediately offered my ratties a CIG. Here's the grey one, still unnamed (any suggestions?) takin' up cami's offer.

so yeah, i'm also leaving for gypgsy kings, ~the classy soiree~ in about 30 minutes. you know, after offerings cigarrettes to my young rats.

~~happy b'day mudib~~

last night i had a good ol' time at mudib's surprise b'day party. he was really surprised. i wouldn't know cause me and tegan arrived early, ran into keith who said we'd be like "fish out of water" because it was a sausage fest, then decided to go bother brian at work instead. by time we came back, mudib had already been surprised! we proceeded to ~~hang~~ for a bit, then in true muslim kid fashion, mudib and friends had to make it home by curfew (so like 12:30.) as you can see, we had TONS OF FUN! then i came home, ate a whole bunch, and passed out. SURPRISE!!
dear mudib,
HAPPY BDAY LUV YA 4EV~~!! SEE YA LATER WHEN WE WATCH BANANA EXPRESS! or PINEAPPLE EXPRESS!! or whatever the fuck it's called!
time to study for my final! peace

As classy as shauna sand's elegant lucite heels...

So for once in my life I’m going to try to be classy. Instead of spending my Friday night playing with rats or engaging in mildly illegal activities, I’ll be spending it with several gatas and some amigos at a swanky soirée…

okay nevermind. I couldn’t even spell soiree without spell check. I’m going to see the gypsy kings on Friday at wolf trap and since you can take your own food and booze in, it seems classy. Like a classy picnic. But in reality it’s just another excuse for people to get drunk and dance. Which is cool with me. And not very classy…. Unless you’re like the white couples who take the really expensive wine and cheese and legit picnic baskets. But NAH. That’s not me.

I AM gonna make some foodies though. And by me, i mean me and Jacy, so... mostly jacy probably. So take a look at the menu, pick your favorite hummus, and maybe your top 3 and we’ll see with what I come up with. And of course, YOU bring the wine. Teehee.

K. gotta go shower n get ready for MUDIB’S SURPRISE PARTY!... it’s gonna be a very classy affair. So classy, I’m gonna wear my new high waisted black skirt. To match my new ~~manicure~~ of black and glitter nailpolish.

here's the "menu"

Bruschetta

Hummus

Creamy Roasted Garlic Hummus

or

sun-dried tomato hummus

Falafel Balls w/ tahini sauce

and!

Garlic bread

LAW AND ORDER...

SVU > original > C.I.

my life is so boring right now, this the bulk of my post.
yesterday, i met up with gatos in DC to chat about gata stuff... and we were all so bored. all we talked about was gabby's work. then i came home, hung out with pat and erick, got kicked out of my house my my asshole brother who thinks he's entitled to everything because he's 25 (26?) and still lives at home and happened to be in a bad mood for no fucking reason known to me.
then we went to pat's house and i fought him for 20 minutes to check my email. he's trying to wean me off the internet. then i got 0 kills in Halo for 3 rounds, then i got 4 in my last game. so.. my average it still one kill per game.
then today i woke up late, studied for a test, then rocked it (i think)
came home, played with rats, talked to some new paraguayan who the gatos should take out and introduce him to the way we live. i already told him i had gay friends and he expressed his concern. being paraguayan, he said THIS

yo soy homofobico!!!
jjajaja
but that is not a problem!!
the problem have the gays people!!
no me voy a acercar ningun centimetro a ellos...

then i said... actually my gay friends are pretty awesome... and he said...

te parece nomas
jajaj
porq tienen mucho en comun con las muejrers
algun dia nos vamos a sentar juntos y vas a entender porq
tengo una teoria muy buena!
y cierta, claro...

and now i'm just sitting here watching shitty criminal intent and talking to some gato who makes conversation almost as boring as this episode.
bueno
saludos!
chau



oh and p.s., miguel looked super gay on monday. HAHAHA oh miguel, i love your tight fitting t shit with nips showing through and fitted pantalones con tus aviators. (I REALLY DID)

and this pic. is to... stick with the batman theme while promoting rights for gays and gayelles everywhere. (mosly just hohan and saman)

Y SO SRS?

Remember that line in 10 things I hate about you when the girl is like, “I know you can be overwhelmed and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?” well I looked it up, and… well… it really doesn’t matter. But that’s kind of how I feel right now.

Today has been rather over/under whelming. How can it be both you ask? After hanging out at my bros house and coming home and doing nothing til 4 30 a.m., I woke up at 8 a.m. today to eat breakfast with my him. We then said our “goodbyes” and he drove off to Illinois. And by “goodbyes” I mean he punched me on the shoulder and said “good luck in school.”

Then I talked to gato for a bit, and I just felt even more whelmed. Like, sometimes I get grumpy about it for no reason and I don’t know why. Jacy says that’s just what girls do. Get grumpy about Gatos for no reason. But I don’t want to be like that.

Then I passed out and woke up at 1:00 p.m. when I SHOULD have been at Hard Times visiting Nicole but instead I hung out with Jonathan. He never hangs out with me, ever, so I had to take advantage of his offer. We went to Chipotle, talked about how people we used to know have become tools and/or failures, then we walked through Ballston to feel even worse about all of it. HAHA. Oh BALLSTON, what a shit hole.

Then we drove to Udvar Hazy to watch BATMAN. My 3^rd time. It gets better every time. I kind of wish Batman were real and were chillin with me right now. Maybe I’d feel less “whelmed.” Oh yes, and also if Heath Ledger were still around. But oh well, it was a great role to end on.

Then I met tio and tia for some Thai and I saw Ms. BRASFIELD!! That was actually really awesome. I love that gurl. I miss her and PK and am e-mailing them tomorrow.

So THEN (this is really pointless, so don’t read on,) I came home and checked my FOTOLOG account which is like a stupid version of a myspace that they used in Argentina. And my friend updated but didn’t post on my wall, so then I got all depressed. It’s sad though cause I think about the people I met there way more than I should. I wonder how they even remember me. Like… the crazy American/Paraguayan vegan who bought overpriced hoodies?? Or the bitch who maybe they can get citizenship from one day? Haha. Or just someone who they may or may not see again that has real no impact on their lives?… it’s weird to think about. But anyways, here’s a lolcat and me and jacy to make you chuckle a bit. And feel less whelmed.

and you know, i'm gonna take the joker's advice, and be a LITTLE LESS SRS now. k bi!

BORING SHIT YOU DONT WANNA READ ABOUT

So last night after shark week and lots of lolz my parents and their friends, i hung out with nicole and gabby and we talked all about BOYS. for like 2 hours. you know i can barely handle girl talk, so i had to hit the bottle. it gets me to open up, you know? just kidding. i was so happy drunk off shark week, i could have sat around and had girl talk for hours.
but anyways, gabby told me about how her 41 year old boss wants to hit it, and i gave her solid advice. it went something like this...
" well gabby, you're leaving in two weeks. so either you don't hit it, and you leave. or you hit it... and you leave. ya kno? "
JUST KIDDING THAT'S GROSS WHAT KIND OF A PATHETIC ADULT MALE WOULD WANT TO HIT IT WITH SOMEONE HALF HIS AGE? oh wait... the answer to that is ANYBODY.
but quite honestly, that's really sad and pathetic. although i know i will be 41 and hitting on my young employees, it's just sleezy in this case. it will NOT be sleazy when i'm 41 in a leopard print dress, 5 inch lucite heels, and red lipstick. (GATA)
okay, but really. i gave her my REAL ADVICE later on which was... every dude wants to hit it with someone half his age. do you really want to make his day like that? and he WILL open his big, fat, geriatric mouth to other employees, and then you'll just look like a ho. so the answer is no, no, no. on all counts. see... i'm being reasonable. FOR ONCE. I'M THE ONE giving the GOOD advice TO GABBY. JESUS, DID HELL FREEZE OVER?

so then we went on to talk about other things, like sharing google calendars (or NOT) with Gatos, like fighting over characters in video games and what colors they are, or whether or not a cappella can be "good music" or not... and how these were all stupid arguments to have with a gato, yet we do anyways.

all this GATO talk got a GATA thinking about "relationships" and shit. people make a big deal out of all this crap, but i was watching LA INK the other night, and one of the hoez was talking about this too, and she decided that everything is "just a decision."

For example, gabby, should you hit it? yes or no. it's just a decision. ME? do i want to share a google calendar with someone? umm yes or no. it's just a decision. jacy, should you get married? (ew) yes or no. it's just a decision that two people make and it has nothing to do with like or love or anything like that. it's like "okay, it's time" or "okay it's just courtesy at this point." or "sure, i might as well." you know? like ..."should i take it up the butt? well we've been going out a while now. it's just courtesy." HAHAH just kidding. i like to throw the butt secks in whenever i can to spice things up.

but anyways, i'm girl talked out.

this morning i woke up and went to a BOLIVIAN festival with jose coronado. yes i still talk to his bolivian ass, and he's fuckin' COOL, ALRIGHT? i went to see tinkus and caporales dancers which for some reason excite me way too much and make me cry sometimes... but anyways. he's some pics of a really cute little kid who turned out to be my high school friend lisa's little bro. ENJOY!

my future mini-gato. so cute! this type of dance is called tikus (i think) and it's REALLY COOL. i might do it next summer... yes lol all you want.

jose's sexy pose. lolz.

that's all for now GATOS. i'm gonna go meet up with some peepz and you know, do cool college kid stuff...

OMG WTF G.W.SHARKS LOLZ

So my brother’s leaving for Illinois, right. So after drinking a 140$$ bottle of champagne, we of course, watched shark week. I mean what else??

And I leaned a few things about great whites. I’m a lot LIKE a great white. I’m vicious and weigh 1,000 pounds, ya kno?

okay just kidding. But I watched these great white sharks go on a feeding FRENZYYYYY cause this dead whale showed up on some beach then they towed it out to seal (or something) island, then all these sharks came and started tearing into the 12,000 pound whale. SO APPARENTLY sharks have “the itis” too!!! After eating a whole bunch, they get

kinda lazy, almost disoriented, and start swimming around all zig zag and drunk, AND (this is the best part) they all get horny!!! Cause they are all in such “close quarters” with both males and females and they’re basically drunk off fatass whale blubber, that they wanna DO EACHOTHER! It’s so sweet! They kind of sound like STUPID COLLEGE STUDENTS… HMM maybe I’ve discovered some shark secret. Or maybe those were just “college aged” sharks.

I wish I was a great white shark. Maybe one day when I’m

rich, I’ll buy one and keep it, like a pet that everyone is terrified of. Like my rats.

Or MAYBE… just MAYBE I’ve had one too many glasses of wine.

**bougie champagne