MY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

if you have not done this yet, then
1) GET A GMAIL. whoever does not have a gmail at this point is just living in the LAST CENTURY and needs to throw the crap they are looking at right now (the monitor from your 1997 HP crap or whatever) out the window.
2) use gchat. if you want to contact me on aim, it's not gonna happen. people i like and respect are on gchat, therefore i haven't even ADDED my aim contacts to my gchat, cause... i don't want to talk to you if you're not on gchat in the FIRST PLACE. k? so if you wanna be a n00b, just add your AIM contacts to your GCHAT. OKAY?
3) get a google calendar... and SHARE IT WITH ME. i'm a nosey bitch. i'm paraguayan, what do you expect? i want to know what you're doing AT ALL TIMES. and you can say the same for me. then i won't actually forget when i'm supposed to hang out with you, and accidentally plan something else.
4) get GOOGLE READER... and then we can share LOL stories that we find on the internet, or elegant pictures of shauna sand, or you can even add this SHITTY BLOG to your reader, and read my updates WHENEVER THEY POP UP. and instead of using it for worthless shit like me, you can even put NEWS updates! and BORING STUFF like the latest in the OBAMA CAMPAIGN or how the damn PRIUS isn't as AMAZING to the environment as your yuppie ass thought it was. or SOMETHING. OKAY?

okay. in other news more relevant to my life, last night clare came over and drank white wine with my parents and 2 of their friends... they talked about how weird i am, how i need to get a boyfriend blah blah, and how my room is always so messy.

then i brought my rats out for some socializing, and one of them peed on both pat AND clare... and then... me.

then clare almost missed the last metro home, then i went to pat's house to play HALO and ROCKBAND with him and erick. my halo average is now about 1.37 KILLS PER GAME.

then some asshole called me out for sucking and erick challenged him to 1 on 1 and then erick owned his ass and we all laughed. then erick said "MY GIRLFRIEND'S HERE IF YOU WANNA PLAY HER. SHE'S MORE ON YOUR LEVEL." and i laughed a whole lot. his name was UPTOWN1020 I BELIEVE if you wanna ADD him then BEAT HIS ASS EVEN MORE.

oh and also, our little japanese magnet friends WENT MISSING. somebody took all the magnets off the fridge, so if ANYBODY HAS SEEN OUT LITTLE JAPANESE MAGNETS, PLEASE CONTACT ME. in honor of female japanese magnet, he's a short vid clip of her singing a kelis song.





OHHH and and jacy had a really hilarious quote today that reminds me of how much i don't ever want a real job ever in my life.

jacy: i have to send out this mass email and i remember there being 1 guy on it who died. but i dont remember who it is. do you think people will get offended if his name is on the email list?

(its for work)

LOLZ.

THAI FOOD

I HAVE NOT HAD THAI FOOD IN TEN DAYS.
TEN DAYS.
I need fuel (thai food.)
I cannot breathe, i cannot get out of bed, i can't move my arm to shove another vegan cupcake in my mouth if i DO NOT EAT THAI FOOD.
i'm so desperate that i craigslisted the words "thai food" to see if there were any desperate, mildly attractive, older gentleman willing to pay for my thai food if i hung out with them. i know, i know, nothing is free and they would probably take my butt virginity after, but it's THAI FOOD.
i'm so desperate, i texted my brother who clearly hates me, and was like "hey, wanna buy me thai food?" and they reply was "you haven't even posted my furniture on craigslist." so that failed.
and now i just hafta go kiss ass to my parents to see if their (even more) broke asses can spare ten dollars to eat the food of the messiah(s?) ... THAI FOOD.

also, on this subject, my mom thinks that i'm whoring myself for thai food. she gets this idea from the little poem/letter she found. and NO it's not ABOUT THAI FOOD. i told her i was "translating it" for somebody. LOLZ. yeah right. i hope she believes me, cause if not, she's gonna try to sit me down and have the bees and the whatever talk with me, only 20x more awkward.

okay i'm gonna go cry to my parents for some thai food now...

vegan cupcakes and cute puppies...

soooo today, or yesterday since now it's almost 3 a.m., i woke up really late again, did nothing, then nicole came over and we decided to make something of our lives. she tried to find me a new job on craigslist, but then we kinda gave up and watched Law and Order. then we decided to make delicious vegan cupcakes and i quickly devoured about 4 of them. here's a pic before i did the damage...

then we all went over to nicole's house to play with her puppies, eat some more, and watch a movie. her puppies were ... charming. after discovering that one of them had a "special relationship" with the stitch stuffed animal, erick n i decided to make a sweet little video clip of LEO and STITCH. enjoy!

73-year-old porn star bedazzles Japan's aged

Reason # 12383 I love Japan...

elder porn.
if anything beats zentai, it's elder porn.

that's a real CNN headline.
i just like the word they chose...
"bedazzled"
like his pepaw peen emits glitter fireworks instead of... you know

anyways, read the real story here.
(thanks gabby)


in other japan related news, erick walked right up to the counter at my work (which i will rant about later cause i'm fricken pissed at PIE-TANZA) with the female magnet in hand and goes "herrrrooo" and i just started laughing for about 10 minutes. she's adorable.

enjoy this short vid clip of her givin' some 'tude.

uh oh...

so sometimes when i'm being stupid i write poems in spanish and hide them or throw them away or something right...
then my mom and dad found a SUPER DUPER PERSONAL ONE
on the table!!!!
shitttttttttttttt...
i hear a "stephanie, come here RIGHT NOW" and i'm like... what...
then my mom's like "what is this?" and i'm like... uhhhh... then i GRAB IT and run! and scream "don't read my shit!" then i hear... " so it IS yours!" and i'm like...
uh oh...

it's not like
"omg do you love me when i let you do me up the butt?" cause that would never ever happen anyways,
but uhhh it's personal enough for me to be embarrassed...


shame shame shame


anyways, i was GONNA write about how i had an amazing dream last night about argentina.
somehow i just just on a random street in argentina with my mom and i was just wandering around trying to find my way back to the apartment where i stayed and the family that i knew cause i reallllly wanted my mom to meet ramiro and martin and the whole time i was thinking... i wonder if i'll be able to see ale (pronounced ah-le.) and then i ran into some girl who knew me and she told me how to get there, then i saw silvina (the girl who lives in the apartment) and she kind of ignored me... and i was like oh okay... and i was about to get to martin's house then i woke up.

okay i'm gonna go kill myself now.
and rub aloe on myself.
and watch my rats play.
and listen to mariah carey.
buh-bye.

my ass is a lovely shade of maroon...

i could write about my brother's party last night,
i could write about sleeping an hour then going to the beach with jacy,
i could write about all the elegant beauties and classy tattoos we saw at OCEAN CITY,

but a picture of my butt crack speaks louder that words...

i bathed in aloe. i'm bathing in aloe again. then i'm passing out, waking up, then repeating the same steps.

not to say the beach wasn't super fun.
i rode the roller coaster, ate fries and cotton candy, and saw some PapIz...
but umm i'm gonna be in pain. and nicole's trying to get me to go back to the beach on monday. uhhh bad idea!

here r sum pics with my true love, cotton candy. oh, and jacy, ofcourse!

MY BIRTHDAY...

is august 20th. the same as miguel ~~blanca nieves~~ macigalupe's b'day.
but more importantly, on the special day...
PARAGUAY WILL BE PLAYING A "friendly" WITH SAUDI ARABIA
as a prep for more world cup elimination games (like the next one against argentina, lol)

so for my birthday...
I WANT THE SAUDIS TO GET SMASHED.

ALBIRROJA!! #1 FOREVZZZZ!!


in other news...
today i was supposed to sell my brother's furniture,
get gata lunch,
go on a bike ride,
and hang out with erick.

all i did was ride my bike.
yes, i sat on my ass ALL DAY with my father watching various programs and eating. surprise! typical day...

i'm gonna go shower now!

maybe i'll add a poll to every post cause i always ask a question at the end.
my question of the day is "what should i do for my b'day?"
other than watch saudis get smashed?

k
peace, land, and bread
~steph

Friday!!!

so, i'm awake, sort of back on a normal sleep schedule. my dad is sitting next to me telling me about the time he catered for a gay party. he was imitating the way "gay men" ate the meat balls... and i almost died laughing. (my dad is really old and paraguayan)

so anyways
here's some PAINTBRUSHED pictures of da club cause... i don't actually have photoshop.


i would go into more details about apex, but it was your typical gay club. only since it was in DC, it was more minorities. so 216 (the gay/only club in charlottesville) with... latinos, asians, and black peoplez. there were the youthful gays, the seasoned gays, the hesitant gays, the sleazy pepaw gays, the samantha ronsons, etc. etc. i texted miguel while i was there, and he was like "you went to paradise without me?!" i loled.

chris is gonna kill me for these posts.

i feel like i had more to write about, but i forgot. vegan's have bad memory supposedly. that would BE ME! if it's not on my google calendar, i really won't remember.

you know what is on my google calendar? BATMAN. AT IMAX. SUNDAY, AUGUST 3rd at 5:30. I'm goin with jonatron and jacy and crew. you're invited. it's so worth every penny of the 16 dollars... i'm not even being facetious.

and tonight's my bro's party. so there will be some stupid shit goin on there i'm sure. then tomorrow me and jac are hoppin in the SUBARU WRX and drivin to ocean shitty for the day. to reminisce on our ~~childhoods~~ ... / tan and eat boardwalk fries and ride the roller coaster. well, that's my agenda atleast. okay i'm gonna see what the gatas are doing for lunch.

bye hoez.

p.s. what do y'all think about making it... purrredezhilton.blogspot.com ?? chris came up with that... i might do it. cause it's funny.

post - gay club

so i just got home from "apex" lol
this gay club in DC that hosts "college night" on thursdays. i lost my student ID so i paid 5 bucks. being college night, it was all sleezy, mostly high schoolers i'm sure, and then your usual gay crowd. we retired early cause i'm pretty sure chris felt really uncomfortable. His manger, coworker, and coworker's GF from Vapiano were there too. They were... a little more comfortable than Chris... to say the least. haha.
I saw two people i know, this kid from high school, greg, and surprise, eugene resnick. i wonder if he'll read this, but he didn't believe the two dudes were straight, then he asked chris if he was my bf, we explained things, then he got that hungry look on his face... you know, the eugene resnick "i'm gonna make you come out of your boudoir/walk in closet even though it's more like an ikea dresser that doesn't really exist" face...
okay. anyways...
i feel like more people are reading this than i think...
considering people facebook me about it but don't leave any comments... HMMMMMM
okay i'm trying to get back on a regular sleeping schedule and i might meet some gatuhz for lunch tomorrow at ballston...
so i guess i'll post some pictures of chris looking awkward at APEX tomorrow, and continue babbling on about gayz and my canker sores.

k k ?

LA Ink is on.
I'm gonna go play with my rats.
oh, and p.s. if i like you, holler at me about that party tomorrow night. (you know, the one)

so today i learned a few things...

1) There IS a solution to canker sores. Earlier today I was still suffering from the pain known as my canker sores that somehow merged into one huge canker sore. I remember that when i got my lip pierced I got a special, bougie mouth wash to help out my mouth's natural enzymes or something. BIOTENE. It was originally meant for pepaw's with drymouth, but can be used for mouth piercings and apparently now canker sores. This shitz can't possibly be very "vegan" or "animal friendly," but a bitch can't live with canker sores forever.

2) I'm a chubby, and I luvz it. For lunch i spent 6 dollars on the most delicious falafel in Arlington, and i was relatively happy the rest of the afternoon, even through my shitty NOVA class. Here's a high saturation pic of my YUMMY YUMMY arax cafe falafel!


Everybody go to ARAX at Westover and buy a fuckin falafel. I will soon be trying the falafels at "that awesome falafel place in Adam's Morgan," and we'll see which one is better.

3) I'm a crazy bitch. (surpriiise) I was in class reading Invitation to a Beheading and not paying attention and my mind started wandering, then i was just like, what the hell is wrong with me? what do i want in life? Why am i sitting here thinking about the weirdest shit that i should NOT be thinkin about that i will not elaborate on???!! jesus.

well anyways, I'm about to leave to go to a GAY CLUB in DC with CHRIS PAGE (who is not gay, so this is not me outing him) and my mom's yelling at me cause she says (in Spanish) that all I look for is trouble and that I should go find a boyfriend and I'm indecent and that all I'm going to do is go there and get diseases and that (I'm actually typing this as she talks...)
"Queres ir a ver a los gays vesandose, tocandose? todos se matan in DC! ustedes buscan problemas... " You have no religion, that's why you do these things. you are incomplete. a person has to be formed physically, mentally, and spiritually. you lack spirituality. you dn't believe in ANYTHING. you all went to catholic school and you are inhumane. and then you say because i judge a black person I'm inhumane. but you, YOU you judge a salvatrucka for being a bad hairstylist. and you, you choose satanic hairdressers with spikes and colors. what is wrong with you? what you think you are gonna go do at a gay club? when are you gonna act like a NORMAL, MATURE, 20 year old. because what you do is not NORMAL. what is that? te volviste LESBIANA that's why you wanna go there? i'm waiting right here. right here for chris. and i'm going to yell at his pale ass. I knew nothing good could come from you hanging out with all those GAYS at uva. because "dime con quien andas y yo te digo quien eres" - MY CRAZY ASS HISPANIC MOM.
hahaha okay i'm done... til laterz.

i need... a haircut

and a shower. ha
i want to get a hair cut to cut off all the parts that i tragically bleached exactly one year ago, but i don't know where to go. I'm also trying to grow it out cause i REALLY, REALLY want long latina slut hair, but that'll only take another 2 years or so...

these two hoes are my hair idols.

ONE DAY I'll be pretty like them.
ONE DAY!

they are also my real - life idols.
white looking "latinuhz" with mad stylez n shit
the red head is Dulce Maria of mexican pop band and telenovela RBD (rebelde)
and the black haired bitch is my hero Denisse Guerrero from mexican synthpop band Belanova.

and on the Belanova note, i might as well post the extremely depressing video that jacy made in SEPIA TONE of me actually being happy in Argentina... hmm. wonder when that will happen again.

the song is Belanova - cada que, and the bachata version is EVEN BETTER!!



p.s. just so you know, this vid makes me cry. so now every time you watch it, you can laugh at the thought of me crying. cause it truly IS... a funny thought.

i need a shower...

today was pretty uneventful.
i woke up late, did some homework, cleaned my rattie cage, went to tysons with nicole and erick, bought some jeans and booty SHORTZ, went to class, did half the homework IN class, turned it in and left.
came home, ate some, got skype, checked my google reader, talked to El Gato on gchat (surprise. why do people travel and spend all their time online. cough cough, eric and jasmine, cough cough,)
and now i'm stinky so i'm gonna go shower and call up some hoez to maybe play some more rockband? or sit around watch law and order. SURPRISE.

here some pics of my cheap buys:

booty shorts are from h&m for $5.90. they are super hot

the jeans were form delia's (lol) for $45, but 10 dollars off for "trying on denim." so be like nicole, go to delia's, try on demin, and buy undies for a dollar.

and that's little "buddy" whose name i'm gonna change cause he doesn't respond to it and that's a stupid name for a hoodrat.

i'm thinkin derek and eric, nico and roman, or latarian and darnell.
i have two boy rats, gay life partners, so they gotta be cute names for a pair.
suggestions?

Cankiez

So before playing SIX STRAIGHT HOURS of rockband last night, i decided to pour a little salt in my wounds. these canker sores have been killing me for a few days, and salt usually makes the pain go away. Ofcourse, you're in excruciating pain for like 10 seconds, but it makes the pain go away for like, a WHOLE DAY or so. so here's some pics of me doin just that.





in other news,
My bro is leaving for Illinois so he's having a blow out party on Friday. who's in??
I wanna see BATMAN IMAX again sometime. who's in?
I have class tonight, kill me.
and considering i woke up at 1:30 cause i went to bed after my last post,
I'm starving.
k peace out

monday night

I just played rockband for six hours.
at my crazy brother's house.
siX HOURS.
with erick, pat, nicole, and my bro as "manager."
me on DRUMZ for most of it, yeaaahhh

i was gonna post about my canker sores, but i guess i'll leave that for tomorrow since i'm about to pass out.
night night

Hentai? boring... ZENTAI? luvz it.

We all know that Japanese people come up with some weird shit to get off to, like Hentai which i think is one of the weirdest things ever...
but i really do love THIS shit.
I love spandex, and I love weird porn (just for the LOLz)
so nothing in the world beats zentai.
They are skin tight suits that cover up your entire body... like this -->
They are usually in one solid color, but being a gata, the gata-like patterns are closest to my heart.
People use 'em for anonymous exhibitionism. I feel a craigslist post coming on...
I think I'm going to buy one in cheetah print. Thoughts? They are only like 50 bucks...
If anyone wants to join me, I would be up for ordering a bunch and causing GATA mayhem in the city...

If you're more interested in Zentai then check out my favorite zentai vid, some fat dude dressed up as a cheetah jackin off in his suit. (so good for the LOLz)

that's all for now...

i'm gonna go make some VEGAN MILANESA and head over to erick's house for some barbecue fun with the CANALES BROTHERS.