Thursday, July 31, 2008

MY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

if you have not done this yet, then
1) GET A GMAIL. whoever does not have a gmail at this point is just living in the LAST CENTURY and needs to throw the crap they are looking at right now (the monitor from your 1997 HP crap or whatever) out the window.
2) use gchat. if you want to contact me on aim, it's not gonna happen. people i like and respect are on gchat, therefore i haven't even ADDED my aim contacts to my gchat, cause... i don't want to talk to you if you're not on gchat in the FIRST PLACE. k? so if you wanna be a n00b, just add your AIM contacts to your GCHAT. OKAY?
3) get a google calendar... and SHARE IT WITH ME. i'm a nosey bitch. i'm paraguayan, what do you expect? i want to know what you're doing AT ALL TIMES. and you can say the same for me. then i won't actually forget when i'm supposed to hang out with you, and accidentally plan something else.
4) get GOOGLE READER... and then we can share LOL stories that we find on the internet, or elegant pictures of shauna sand, or you can even add this SHITTY BLOG to your reader, and read my updates WHENEVER THEY POP UP. and instead of using it for worthless shit like me, you can even put NEWS updates! and BORING STUFF like the latest in the OBAMA CAMPAIGN or how the damn PRIUS isn't as AMAZING to the environment as your yuppie ass thought it was. or SOMETHING. OKAY?

okay. in other news more relevant to my life, last night clare came over and drank white wine with my parents and 2 of their friends... they talked about how weird i am, how i need to get a boyfriend blah blah, and how my room is always so messy.

then i brought my rats out for some socializing, and one of them peed on both pat AND clare... and then... me.

then clare almost missed the last metro home, then i went to pat's house to play HALO and ROCKBAND with him and erick. my halo average is now about 1.37 KILLS PER GAME.

then some asshole called me out for sucking and erick challenged him to 1 on 1 and then erick owned his ass and we all laughed. then erick said "MY GIRLFRIEND'S HERE IF YOU WANNA PLAY HER. SHE'S MORE ON YOUR LEVEL." and i laughed a whole lot. his name was UPTOWN1020 I BELIEVE if you wanna ADD him then BEAT HIS ASS EVEN MORE.

oh and also, our little japanese magnet friends WENT MISSING. somebody took all the magnets off the fridge, so if ANYBODY HAS SEEN OUT LITTLE JAPANESE MAGNETS, PLEASE CONTACT ME. in honor of female japanese magnet, he's a short vid clip of her singing a kelis song.





OHHH and and jacy had a really hilarious quote today that reminds me of how much i don't ever want a real job ever in my life.

jacy: i have to send out this mass email and i remember there being 1 guy on it who died. but i dont remember who it is. do you think people will get offended if his name is on the email list?
(its for work)

LOLZ.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

THAI FOOD

I HAVE NOT HAD THAI FOOD IN TEN DAYS.
TEN DAYS.
I need fuel (thai food.)
I cannot breathe, i cannot get out of bed, i can't move my arm to shove another vegan cupcake in my mouth if i DO NOT EAT THAI FOOD.
i'm so desperate that i craigslisted the words "thai food" to see if there were any desperate, mildly attractive, older gentleman willing to pay for my thai food if i hung out with them. i know, i know, nothing is free and they would probably take my butt virginity after, but it's THAI FOOD.
i'm so desperate, i texted my brother who clearly hates me, and was like "hey, wanna buy me thai food?" and they reply was "you haven't even posted my furniture on craigslist." so that failed.
and now i just hafta go kiss ass to my parents to see if their (even more) broke asses can spare ten dollars to eat the food of the messiah(s?) ... THAI FOOD.

also, on this subject, my mom thinks that i'm whoring myself for thai food. she gets this idea from the little poem/letter she found. and NO it's not ABOUT THAI FOOD. i told her i was "translating it" for somebody. LOLZ. yeah right. i hope she believes me, cause if not, she's gonna try to sit me down and have the bees and the whatever talk with me, only 20x more awkward.

okay i'm gonna go cry to my parents for some thai food now...


vegan cupcakes and cute puppies...

soooo today, or yesterday since now it's almost 3 a.m., i woke up really late again, did nothing, then nicole came over and we decided to make something of our lives. she tried to find me a new job on craigslist, but then we kinda gave up and watched Law and Order. then we decided to make delicious vegan cupcakes and i quickly devoured about 4 of them. here's a pic before i did the damage...

then we all went over to nicole's house to play with her puppies, eat some more, and watch a movie. her puppies were ... charming. after discovering that one of them had a "special relationship" with the stitch stuffed animal, erick n i decided to make a sweet little video clip of LEO and STITCH. enjoy!


Monday, July 28, 2008

73-year-old porn star bedazzles Japan's aged

Reason # 12383 I love Japan...
elder porn.
if anything beats zentai, it's elder porn.

that's a real CNN headline.
i just like the word they chose...
"bedazzled"
like his pepaw peen emits glitter fireworks instead of... you know

anyways, read the real story here.
(thanks gabby)


in other japan related news, erick walked right up to the counter at my work (which i will rant about later cause i'm fricken pissed at PIE-TANZA) with the female magnet in hand and goes "herrrrooo" and i just started laughing for about 10 minutes. she's adorable.

enjoy this short vid clip of her givin' some 'tude.


Sunday, July 27, 2008

uh oh...

so sometimes when i'm being stupid i write poems in spanish and hide them or throw them away or something right...
then my mom and dad found a SUPER DUPER PERSONAL ONE
on the table!!!!
shitttttttttttttt...
i hear a "stephanie, come here RIGHT NOW" and i'm like... what...
then my mom's like "what is this?" and i'm like... uhhhh... then i GRAB IT and run! and scream "don't read my shit!" then i hear... " so it IS yours!" and i'm like...
uh oh...

it's not like
"omg do you love me when i let you do me up the butt?" cause that would never ever happen anyways,
but uhhh it's personal enough for me to be embarrassed...


shame shame shame


anyways, i was GONNA write about how i had an amazing dream last night about argentina.
somehow i just just on a random street in argentina with my mom and i was just wandering around trying to find my way back to the apartment where i stayed and the family that i knew cause i reallllly wanted my mom to meet ramiro and martin and the whole time i was thinking... i wonder if i'll be able to see ale (pronounced ah-le.) and then i ran into some girl who knew me and she told me how to get there, then i saw silvina (the girl who lives in the apartment) and she kind of ignored me... and i was like oh okay... and i was about to get to martin's house then i woke up.

okay i'm gonna go kill myself now.
and rub aloe on myself.
and watch my rats play.
and listen to mariah carey.
buh-bye.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

my ass is a lovely shade of maroon...

i could write about my brother's party last night,
i could write about sleeping an hour then going to the beach with jacy,
i could write about all the elegant beauties and classy tattoos we saw at OCEAN CITY,

but a picture of my butt crack speaks louder that words...

i bathed in aloe. i'm bathing in aloe again. then i'm passing out, waking up, then repeating the same steps.

not to say the beach wasn't super fun.
i rode the roller coaster, ate fries and cotton candy, and saw some PapIz...
but umm i'm gonna be in pain. and nicole's trying to get me to go back to the beach on monday. uhhh bad idea!

here r sum pics with my true love, cotton candy. oh, and jacy, ofcourse!




Friday, July 25, 2008

MY BIRTHDAY...

is august 20th. the same as miguel ~~blanca nieves~~ macigalupe's b'day.
but more importantly, on the special day...
PARAGUAY WILL BE PLAYING A "friendly" WITH SAUDI ARABIA
as a prep for more world cup elimination games (like the next one against argentina, lol)

so for my birthday...
I WANT THE SAUDIS TO GET SMASHED.

ALBIRROJA!! #1 FOREVZZZZ!!


in other news...
today i was supposed to sell my brother's furniture,
get gata lunch,
go on a bike ride,
and hang out with erick.

all i did was ride my bike.
yes, i sat on my ass ALL DAY with my father watching various programs and eating. surprise! typical day...

i'm gonna go shower now!

maybe i'll add a poll to every post cause i always ask a question at the end.
my question of the day is "what should i do for my b'day?"
other than watch saudis get smashed?

k
peace, land, and bread
~steph